A Holiday Fitness Challenge (and What I Learned)

It’s been over a month since my last post and to be honest I’ve been struggling to find the time to write.  The holiday season wasn’t more hectic than usual, actually I probably attended less events this year (compared to prior years). But in general life has been keeping me busy.  Between a demanding career, parenting a toddler, dating & the start of a new relationship (maybe a topic for a future post) and a holiday fitness goal I’ve set for myself… there hasn’t been much down time at all.

Today I wanted to focus on my fitness goal (since that just wrapped up) in the hopes that what I learned from the process might be helpful to others out there.  Some of it won’t be new – but still worth sharing. So here we go:

The Inspiration:  My gym (Chicago Athletic Clubs) runs a Holiday Challenge each year that rewards its members for working out a set number of days between Thanksgiving and (almost) Christmas.  Tier 1 of rewards (5 guest passes) goes to those who worked out 15-19 days, Tier 2 for 20-24 days, and Tier 3 (25 days).  Promotion period is 25 days long.

My Goal:  15 workouts between Nov 29th and Dec 23rd.

For my friends who work out 4-5 days a week this doesn’t sound too challenging, but for someone like me who typically works out 2 days a week (Saturday and Sunday only) this is quite the stretch challenge

My Progress:  Goal reached today. (Hooray!)  I averaged about 4 workouts per week.

How did I do it? I faithfully worked out on my typical days and engaged a nearby babysitter in the weeknight evenings (post my daughter’s bedtime) to allow me 90 minutes to get to the gym, workout and head back.

What I learned:

1) Pick a goal that is challenging yet “within reach” (based on your lifestyle and what makes you “tick”)  If I was not self aware, I may have started with the Tier 3 Goal (working out everyday) and been disappointed when I achieved the Tier 1 accomplishment.  Instead I knew that doubling my current workout schedule would be “daunting enough” and there’s always the next challenge to room to push myself further or in different ways.

2) Chart out your goal and how you plan to achieve it. I mapped out my workouts on my Outlook calendar.  When something cropped up to sideline my plan, I found an alternate time and corrected course.

3) Setting a goal, telling your family and friends, and then sharing your progress makes achieving it a lot more likely.  It becomes about proving to yourself (and others) that you can do it. For me being consistent in my words and actions is important to me… so if I say I am going to do something, I want to do it.

4) Celebrate the little victories. For me, I tried to “check in” at each workout. It was my way of celebrating each step closer to the goal.  (My apologies to those who follow me on social networks as some of these were published in my streams as I know you may have been thinking “Enough already!”)

5) Life will try to get in the way.  During these 25 days I was faced with single digit temperatures, inclement weather (cold rain and snow), a sick toddler, and myself refusing to get sick.  Through it all I tried to stay focused on the day at hand, and say “I can do this. I can overcome <insert obstacle>. I will feel better when I can check this workout off the list and take one step closer to the end goal.”

A key for me was picking my incremental workouts at times that would not take away time that I would normally spend with my daughter.  As shared previously the workouts I added to my schedule typically occurred after my little one went to bed, so all that I was losing was time that I spent unwinding at home.  I know myself well enough that “mommy guilt” would be too difficult to overcome – so I knew I needed to get creative.

Now the cost for me to achieve this goal in babysitting services alone far exceeded the value of the reward from my gym… but the intangible gain was much greater.  It reminded me how much I enjoyed fitness as part of my weeknight routine, how much I refocused during workouts…. These two truths are inspiring me to find ways to keep this progress going into the new year.

Now my approach may be different (i.e. not all of my workouts may be at the gym) but even tackling a workout at home will give me the boost I need (especially during Chicago’s brutal winter months).

I’ll definitely try to write a post or two on my continued quest for fitness (while being an over committed mom too).  Until next time… (and Happy Holidays just in case!)

On Gratitude: It’s a Little Bit of Everything

It’s been quite a week — yet somehow I found time to jot down top of mind words I associate with my current feeling of gratitude.  Since I am a visual person, I decided to create a word cloud to bring them to life in a more interesting way:

So for me, it is a mix of the big and little things… And keeping my life in perspective.  I find it’s easy for me to let the little things add up and result in me feeling overwhelmed and frazzled.  It’s only when I take the moment to breathe, and take a step back, that I can regain perspective.  At the end of the day, I remind myself we all have our struggles.  They come in different shapes and sizes… but we also have much to be thankful for.  For me it’s reminding myself to slow down and recognize the blessings and second changes I’ve been given.

And since a quote generally inspires me, tonight I found these words of wisdom to speak to me:

“Gratitude is one of those sweet shortcuts to finding peace of mind and happiness inside. No matter what is going on outside of us, there is always something we could be grateful for.”~Barry Neil Kaufman

On Gratitude: As a Parent

I’ve noticed this November that many of my friends on Facebook have turned this great month into one of expressing gratitude. Their posts inspired me to start jotting down what I feel thankful for… Not surprisingly a few themes are constant in my daily notes.

Before writing tonight I wanted to first find a quote that captured the strongest common thread ..

“At times our own inner light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of has cause to think with great gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.”~Albert Schweitzer

My daughter was the top theme in my gratitude journal. After only 19 months together I am still in awe by how much she transformed my life. Her giggles, smiles, hugs and kisses are the highlight of my day… And even during the more challenging moments of occasional meltdown & “No, no, no’s” … I am overwhelmed by the urge to protect and soothe her. Most importantly when I stop to remember my life before her it’s a blur… She really has opened up my heart and ignited my life in a way that I didn’t know was possible and for that I am filled with gratitude.

Until next time…

Now we’re talking (and walking!)

I’m amazed at the speed of learning at age eighteen months.  In the past few weeks I’ve noticed my daughter’s ability to communicate greatly expand — and yes, I watched her take her first steps (day 1 occurred at daycare but her caring teachers caught it on video for me… thank goodness for smartphones).  And while her walking skills are still pretty shaky, her ability to listen, understand and communicate simply amaze me.

To help illustrate her mastery of words, I created Alexa’s own word cloud. Roughly 15 spoken words in total — and many more that she understands when asked questions.  With her love of books I expect her vocabulary to continue to explode.  For those parents out there, did you toddler’s first words look something like this?

A tale of help from two amazing women…

Today was one of those “picture perfect” Sundays. It all started with my attending church services for the first time in months and a homily (sermon) that caused my brain to reflect deeply on that day (March 18, 2012) that changed my life so much for the better.

No, the sermon wasn’t on the topic of parenthood – it was on the importance of being compassionate and neighborly to those in need around us. So today’s post is about two women that helped me keep it together on that fateful day, and how I (and my family) will be forever grateful for their kindness and support.

So as I sat there today in church, I knew I needed to write my thoughts down – so that I could one day share this story with Alexa about “the day she was born.”

It all started about 11:30pm on St. Patrick’s Day night… I went to the hospital with signs that I may be in early labor. I had a long way to go, so I was advised to go home and rest. Within three hours the real labor began. I tried laying down, standing up, pacing, a warm bath, etc… Anything to help the pain. But knew as the contractions grew a little closer, my gut told me it was time to head back to the hospital. The only issue was I was alone and could barely walk or sit down.

What’s a girl to do? Since I do not have family living in Chicago, I called one of the neighbors (and yes, it was 5am!). She and her husband were new parents at the time, and had gone through a similar drill only 10 weeks prior. Ylda gratiously left her little one with her husband and went with me in a cab to the hospital. She gently coached me on my breathing and kept me reassured that everything was going to be okay.

Ylda stayed with me through triage, admissions and getting settled in my room – and only left after the epidural was administered and I was comfortably resting in my room. Having never been through child birth, I naively thought I could get myself to the hospital solo… But I now wonder how I would have weathered those early hours without help from my amazing neighbor.

Now let’s fast forward a couple more hours, and the doctor on call tells me I’m going to start the “pushing stage” of labor soon. I remembered my manager at work telling me no woman should go through this part alone and if found myself going into labor early (before my mom arrived) to call her. So I trusted her advice, and enlisted her help. My manager (Julie) immediately got in her car, drove into Chicago from the O’Hare suburbs and arrived just as I was starting what would be my two hours of pushing.

Julie held my hand as I went through those final stages, and she was one of the first people to see my beautiful baby girl. Thanks to her iPhone camera skills I have photos of those moments. And when all the excitement calmed down, Julie stayed with me and Alexa until we were settled in and resting.

When my mom arrived later that evening I shared the events of those previous ~12 hours. She was touched by the caring acts of both Ylda and Julie, and commented how fortunate I was to have “good people” in my life.

So returning to the present… when I sat in church this morning and reflected on all of that – my eyes welled up with tears and I felt filled with gratitude. How lucky I was to have two special people go above and beyond to help me in such a great time of need. I only hope I can demonstrate this level of gIving/caring if placed in a similar situation. One thing is certain… My daughter will know how much compassion was extended to her mom on her “extra special day.”

It only seems fitting to end today’s post with my favorite picture from Miss Alexa’s “birth” day .. (It’s hard to believe it was a little over 18 months ago!)

Dr Mom and Toddler Translator in Training

If it seems like awhile since my last post, it has been almost a month. And what a month it has been.

We’ll start with the positive… I really like this stage of toddlerhood.  Alexa is quite the personality. She and I now communicate pretty well and she is developing a small vocabulary (Mama, More, All Done, Up, Hi, Bye Bye, See, and the newest on the list “Uh Oh”) and there are others on the horizon (like Nana, PopPop and book). Despite this short list of spoken words, she seems to understand even more words when asked questions.  She is quite fond of walks, visits to the playground and the zoo… and seems to be developing a love of books.  But my favorite is her new fondness for sitting next to her mommy and giving hugs. Just too cute!

Onto the more challenging… we just finished Alexa’s first major bout with a nasty virus and it nearly broke my heart to see her so sick.  Her temperature spiked to 104 degrees and her energy level was ultra low. To see my spunky toddler so weak and lethargic was just so difficult, especially since there was so little I can do for her (other than baby ibuprofen, lots of fluids, lots of naps and as much TLC as I could give her).  I know this is the first illness of many to come in her childhood, but the experience reinforced for me how unconditional a parent’s love is and how endless our worry can be.

So coming off this experience I went searching for a great parenting quote, and this one felt like a real keeper.  It deals with the long journey of parenthood, but given it’s back to school time it seemed the right one for this moment in time.

Somebody said that a child is carried in its mother’s womb for nine months.
Somebody does not know that a child is carried in its mother’s heart forever.

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you’ve had a baby.

Somebody doesn’t know that once you’re a mother, normal is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct.
Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring.
Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver’s permit.

Somebody said if you’re a “good” mother, your child will “turn out good.”
Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said “good” mothers never raise their voices.
Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor’s kitchen window.

Somebody said you don’t need an education to be a mother.
Somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.

Somebody said you can’t love the fifth child as much as you love the first.
Somebody doesn’t have five children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books.
Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery.
Somebody never watched her “baby” get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten.

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back.
Somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies to sell cookies.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married.
Somebody doesn’t know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother’s heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother’s job is done when her last child leaves home.
Somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don’t need to tell her.
Somebody isn’t a mother.

Until next time…

My Toddler’s Spirit and Sparkle

At 16 months of age my daughter is a bundle of energy and personality. And when I take the time to really tune in and observe her, I wonder at what age did I learn to temper my approach and dial down my spunk.

My daughter is all about being in the moment. Whether it bopping to the beat at music class, … or clapping and giggling at the zoo (those polar bears are exciting)… or kicking and squealing on the swings… or chilling at home and deciding a “downward facing dog” pose might be fun… or saying “bye bye” to the entire CTA bus… Alexa just goes with her immediate reaction or wish.

If you and I did some of this people might shake their heads, but when it’s coming from a 16 month old, you see a different reaction… you see faces brighten and smiles in return (at least from most).  It’s not that people are laughing at her, I truly believe they see her joy.  And what’s refreshing about a child this age is that she’s too young to worry about how people perceive her. Her world is much more simple than that… She is simply tuned into herself and her caregivers right now. It will be a bit longer (I hope) until she learns how critical the world can be, or understands the expectations and rules that some with age.

So as I watch her I think how do I preserve that innocence and spirit? I also wonder how do I get some of my “toddler spirit” back (not the tantrums, please). How do I “relearn” to see the world around me with fresh eyes? To find joy in the simple things?

Until then I need to remind myself to encourage my daughter to keep this spirited nature.  I’ll be posting this quote as reminder for me personally and as my daughter’s advocate and cheerleader:

Until next time…

A tribute to bedtime (It’s all about the routine)

It’s been awhile since I’ve written a blog post… a little over three weeks.

Since I last wrote, Alexa moved onto to being a skilled “furniture cruiser” and made the transition to the “toddler room” at daycare.  Her mood at home definitely reflected that she is a child in the midst of change.  She’s been more needy and head-strong than usual… I think it’s the combination of her age (16 months old) and the fact that her life seems a little unpredictable.

One of the obvious signs of distress was a series of bedtime battles.  These ranged from as short as 20 minutes (a good night) to the 2 hour marathon that frankly left both of us exhausted.  On a day after one of my roughest nights, my mom suggested that I return to the predictable “pre-bedtime routine” that I was wedded to early on (during sleeping training days).  In the past month or so, I stayed true to Alexa’s bedtime (7-7:30pm) but was more sporadic as to what steps led up to bedtime. (This can be a little confusing to a 16 month old!)  Amazingly bedtime greatly improved starting with the night I returned to a predictable routine.

For the new parents out there, pre-bedtime for my daughter goes something like this…

Dinner seated at the table -> A little playtime -> Bathtime -> PJs on ->Bottle -> Put away toys->Bedtime book and about 15 minutes of Sprout on TV (typically the Pajanimals )… then place Alexa into her crib in her darkened room.

Each child is different but what I think is important is a series of steps that signal that the end of the day (and bedtime) is approaching.

After a long day and lots of toddler energy, I think we both benefit from slowing down and easing into bedtime.  All of the above occurs and completes by the same bedtime (7/7:30pm) and allows me a couple of hours to have dinner, finish some essentials chores (dishes, laundry, prep for next day), check email and relax a little.  Removing the hour+ battle from the evening allows me to have some “me time” and maintain my sense of calm.

Not every day goes smoothly (I am the mom of a 16 month old after all), but I try to remind myself that every parent has struggles. The important thing is to give my daughter love, calm, predictability and an environment where she can learn, explore and build confidence. Not an easy task, but a very rewarding experience. For those of us approaching or in the toddler phase, I thought it was the only fitting to leave us with this great reminder and quote:

“The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” ~ Lane Olinghouse

Until next time… (maybe I’ll have a walker on my hands, only time will tell!)

A parent’s growing love and wonder

Life with a toddler is on the horizon.  My 15 month old daughter is on the verge of walking, is gesturing and more vocal everyday, and her strong-willed nature and drive amaze me everyday.  As I watch her interact with the world around her, I feel a pang of love and awe that overwhelms me.  This has been especially true the past few days as we’ve spent the 4th of July holiday break with my family and friends.

My daughter loves her grandparents and her face literally lights up when she sees them.  I can’t explain the feeling of watching the love that transpires between the three of them… it’s amazing to watch my parents -who have loved and supported me through the years and were my everything when I was a small child – love my daughter with that same unconditional love.  And its clear that my daughter senses that and is thriving from being in their company.  Add in other friends and relatives who are equally excited to see us, and there’s a lot of smiles, giggles, claps and all around fun in Alexa’s life.

How I am feeling this visit is a little amazed by the love I am feeling for my family — and the wonder I feel for my daughter.  It all sounds so corny but it’s true, nothing really prepares you for the love that you feel for your child.  It starts at birth when you hold this amazing little wonder, and only grows as this baby starts to transform into a little person.

So of course I searched for a quote to put this feeling into words far more eloquently that I can, so here it is:

I don’t remember who said this, but there really are places in the heart you don’t even know exist until you love a child. ― Anne Lamott, Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son’s First Year

Wishing you all a fun-filled weekend with your loved ones. Until next time…

An Ode to Dad’s (including mine)

Father’s Day is a time of year that I know will get more difficult as my child grows older. My daughter at her very young age doesn’t understand the concept of a mommy and a daddy, and doesn’t understand that the definition of her family is a little different.

This year we turned Father’s Day weekend into a very positive experience by traveling to California to spend time with my brother (and my 6 year old niece) as well as my parents.

As I watched my brother with his daughter, I was struck by the special love between them. It made me reflect on my relationship with my dad and how it evolved from being “daddy’s little girl” (like my six year old niece) to my dad doesn’t understand me at all (a period I’ll term the moody pre-teens and teens) to seeing him as someone who is full of life wisdom, love and caring for his family.

This new image of my dad surfaced when I was 20 and called home during a weekend trip to St Louis to visit my college boyfriend. The boy was my “first love” and it became clear that weekend that the relationship was ending. I had originally called to talked to my mom, but she wasn’t home at the time. When I heard my day’s voice I immediately started to cry. As I briefly explained the situation (through the tears), my dad calmly replied “Oh sweetheart, I wish I could tell you that this would be the last time you will feel this way, but this will likely be the first heart break of many.”

I now know his heart was breaking too – and yet his words which were likely an impromptu response proved to be very prophetic. And through the relationship highs and lows that followed, my dad (and mom too) have always been there for me. I only hope that Alexa will have an easier journey than me — and whatever her path, that I will be as loving and supportive as my parents have been to me.

Of course I searched for a quote that captures that love and bond, and the quote “What is a Dad? summed it perfectly for me. It will be one I refer back to often as a reminder of the type of parent I want to be:

What is a dad?

A dad is someone who
wants to catch you before you fall
but instead picks you up,
brushes you off
and lets you try again.

A dad is someone who
wants to keep you from making mistakes
but instead lets you find your way,
even though his heart breaks
as he watches you get hurt.

A dad is someone who
holds you when you cry,
scolds you when you break the rules,
shines with pride when you succeed,
and has faith in you when you fail.
~Unknown

Doesn’t it make you want to call your dad (or parents) and say “thank you”? That’s the effect it had on me.

Until next time…