The “big arrival” and Reflections on week one of Motherhood

First the big news … my daughter Alexa arrived 9 days early on Sunday, March 18^th!  Now that the first week has gone by, I’ve had some time to reflect on the good, the bad and the amazing moments of my new motherhood journey.

The Good, The Bad and The Amazing

Labor:

The early stages of labor were as difficult as I expected… and the epidural was as radically relieving as I had hoped.  My labor experience was not without drama (picture 8 doctors and nurses working quickly to return mom and baby back to normal blood pressure & heart rate levels — the scariest 3 minutes of my life)… but overall it was definitely worth every contraction and push.

Meeting My Daughter for the First Time:

I was one of these expectant moms that worried about feeling an immediate bond with my baby.  What if I saw her and didn’t feel this gush of “unconditional love?”  That wasn’t the case for me… I saw her beautiful face, her perfect fingers and toes, and as I held her close to me I couldn’t believe how the emotions just hit me full force.  My immediate thought was “This beautiful baby is my daughter… simply amazing.”

Post-Labor Experience:

This is the part of the pregnancy / new motherhood journey that I was not prepared for … partly because it’s a topic that moms don’t seem to openly talk about with expectant moms (perhaps so that they didn’t scare us!).  After having some time to reflect on the whole experience, here are my main observations:

The Pressure for Mom to Breast Feed:

With more and more hospitals applying for “Baby Friendly Status” it is important for new moms to understand the breastfeeding instruction and consultation that one will receive within hours of completing the birth process:

10 guidelines set by the Baby-Friendly Hospital Initiative, a program sponsored by the World Health Organization and the United Nations Children’s Fund, also known as UNICEF.

The guidelines include helping mothers begin breastfeeding within an hour of birth, providing infants no food or drink other than breast milk unless medically necessary, giving no pacifiers or artificial nipples to breastfeeding babies and allowing mothers and newborns to room together around the clock

I entered the hospital willing to give breastfeeding a try, but by the end of the second day, my body could not support the nursing habits of my new daughter.  I felt like a failure, but failed realize how many women struggle with breastfeeding in the first few weeks (I’ve learned this through talking with my friends post-delivery and by researching the small percentage of new mom’s that make it to the 3 month mark.  After my first-hand experience I have a new found appreciation for my friends who made it through and diligently breastfed for the first 3-6 months… some as long as a year.

Recovery Period/Pain Management:

The recovery period is tough regardless of your method of birth.  Since my baby arrived, I’ve now spoken with friends who delivered via natural, epidural and C-section and all of us shared some degree of common ailments.  I was not prepared for the difficulty of my body returning to normal functioning of digestion, routine activities… and how scared I’d be to take the first steps towards returning to normal tasks– like showering alone, taking a walk to the local pharmacy etc.  Even a week later, I am still dealing with post labor pain — ibuprofen and my inflatable donut (to sit on) are my two treasured aids.

Importance of help from Family/Friends and the Value of Staying Connected:

The phone calls from my friends and family that have been through these days have been incredibly helpful… as you realize that you favorite aunt, friend, relative walked in your shoes years ago and lived to tell about it.  It reminds you that you are not alone, this is all temporary and this too will all pass.  These conversations also offered tips on products to try and helped reshape expectations on how long side effects and symptoms may potentially last.

But what was the most important factor to my surviving the first week was the help that I received from my mom.  She arrived on the night of March 18^th (about 6 hours after Alexa was born) and has been with me ever since.  I seriously doubt how I would have been able to care for my newborn daughter without her 24/7 help (especially when we returned home to my condo 48 short hours after Alexa’s birth).  At the time I was still very much a patient too… and my mom’s presence and unwavering help allowed me time to heal and gradually take on more & more of my daughter’s care.

“Learning” my Daughter and Our First Milestones:

My daughter and I are just beginning to learn one another.  So far my daughter appears to know my voice, my smell, my heartbeat and my touch… and I am still learning her cries, her facial expressions, her personality and her eating/sleeping preferences.  What I do know already is that my daughter is strong-willed (I might even say stubborn), smart and spunky.  For a one week old I am amazed by how alert she is and the small things she’s already learned to do.

And we’ve already had a long list of milestones in week 1:

• First Doctor Visit
• First Stroller Ride
• First spit-up on Mommy
• First poop explosion on Mommy (sign that a different diaper brand was needed)
• First Lunch Outing with Mom & Grandmom (slept through whole thing!)
• First Solo Outing with Mom (yes, it involved shopping – but mostly for new-born items for Alexa)

So overall our first week together was a learning experience for both of us.  Reflecting back on it, I’d label it as amazing for me.  I wouldn’t trade a moment of it as it was certainly a week I will never forget and will treasure for a very long time.  Stay tuned for more adventures of this brand-new mom!